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An Amalgamation Of Dudes

by Sadface Killer

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1.
The liberty that has upended me Bisected by joy Spinning muddy wheels to no end Wishing goodness living less than How did I ever think this would end? Differing lines diverging before me It's all I can see Spinning muddy wheels to no end Wishing goodness living less than Cut me down into a mere man Breathing shallow 'til I can stand How did I ever think this would end? When I was looking at you I thought you knew that I was living in two Places in one time Places in time Spinning muddy wheels to no end Wishing goodness living less than How did I ever think this would end?
2.
If I had the chance to get out of my head I'd go be someone just for a while But I just can't overstay my welcome 'Cuz I've got things to fix back at home But I can't give up hope So I'll swing for the fences And you just can't let go I can't go back to the bottom Sleepless nights are only getting longer Take it from a friend, I know how it goes If friends are what it takes to get through this Then smother me with friends 'til I'm a ghost But I can't give up hope So I'll swing for the fences And you just can't let go I can't go back to the bottom Again What lies around the corner's undecided But I just can't sit still and be afraid The future is still mine for the taking So I'll keep moving forward head held high But I can't give up hope So I'll swing for the fences And you just can't let go I can't go back to the bottom Again Again
3.
What could I have said to you? To make what happened last December night Hurt– but it's over now Not even our ghosts linger around We came together Through calls and rooms We fell apart Through towns and friends Now all I do is wait for you 'Cuz you don't know where I've been this past year Been rolling out of bed at twelve P.M. On the weekdays Never meant to leave you alone Just never knew when to check in And I am sorry for the loss 'Cuz you don't know where I've been this past year Been rolling out of bed at twelve P.M. On the weekdays Counting days where we're not keeping up 'Cuz you'll be mad no matter what I do Why do you? Talk yourself blue about things you'll never do Lit up by computer screens Talking to myself about the things that you would say to me If you were in the room You were in the room What could I have said to you? To make what happened last December night Hurt– but it's over now Not even our ghosts linger around The same part of town Talk yourself blue about things you'll never do Lit up by computer screens Talking to myself about the things that you would say to me If you were in the room You were in the room
4.
5.
'03 Hoopin 04:05
I can't keep staring at my ceiling forever You just gotta go You just need to move Transit to static then static back to transit I can't live like this I can't live like this But that's just how it goes Move forward It can't be worse than staying where you are right now The future is still coming if you aren't The brightest spark never lasts long enough (I need more, I need more) The brightest spark never lasts long enough (I need more, I need more) Days fly by so fast and I wake up to wasted time Why am I so scared To fill up the space? Screens are empty and papers are still blank I can't live like this I can't live like this We're walking on tightropes With hands behind our backs (And you got plans) But that's just how it goes Move forward It can't be worse than staying where you are right now The future is still coming if you aren't The brightest spark never lasts long enough (I need more, I need more) The brightest spark never lasts long enough (I need more, I need more)
6.
7.
I felt the ground beneath my feet start to shake, but never felt it leave I never felt it leave Now beds feel like couches, rooms like basements, need to start to see I need to start to see I can't keep living under the surface I can't keep living under the surface And I'm not sure where I'm going but I'll get there soon There's room in the hospital for me The surface keeps calling me but I can't seem to get up there The hole I'm in keeps getting deeper every day and every year I felt the ground beneath my feet start to shake, but never felt it leave I never felt it leave Now beds feel like couches, rooms like basements, need to start to see I need to start to see And I'm not sure where I'm going but I'll get there soon There's room in the hospital for me
8.
The moon is up No destination We float slowly down Head full of memories That melt together Past made present, now The moon is up For us to follow Edge into the sound And road and rubber Lend one another Asphalt in my knee Warm wind, settle down Humming mosquito Red lightning bugs glow Cool, raw chlorine eyes Take all the scene in Soft grass beneath him Don't run far This tree Is where we'll meet Olly oxen free The moon is up Stones worn and rusty Ankles dusted brown See that swingset Get underneath it 'Fore you end up found Calm down, look around Spy in the darkness A friend hasn't run yet Come on, let's go down He's guarding home base He can't get both of us Let's make a break for it, a break for it
9.
Dnb 03:45
I was alive and then I wasn't We had some time and then we didn't It came in waves and now it's gone It came in waves and now it's gone You had no plans and then you made some I felt alone but that felt selfish It came in waves and now it's gone It came in waves and now it's gone I just couldn't handle the change Now I'm tongue-tied looking at papers With your name on them It gives a smile but not enough to bring you back No it's not enough to bring you back You had some time and then you took it You went so far to keep it secret It all went down just how you wanted It all went down just how you wanted You kept it safe from all your loved ones But there was someone, now there's no one It came in waves and now it's gone It came in waves and now it's gone Just couldn't handle the change Now I'm tongue-tied looking at papers With your name on them It gives a smile but not enough to bring you back I had some structure then I lost it I had some worries then they blossomed Just take it away already Take it away already I don't know how you'll hear this And it's gonna take some time So when I see you face to face I'll finally see you eye to eye

credits

released December 19, 2020

Engineered and mixed by Joey McNally.
Mastered by Sammy Hinrichsen, except track #1 by JM.

Sax and additional engineering on track 8 by Matt Grebner.

Cover photo set up by Stirling Hostetter, shot by Cassie Woodworth.

Sadface Killer:
Jon "Sanny" San German - guitar, vocals
Jack Conley - guitar, vocals on track 1+8
Taylor Zarvell - bass
Joey McNally - drums, vocals on track 1

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Sadface Killer Peoria, Illinois

It's just like one of my Japanese animes!

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